The Merriment Mary Meant

We came back from the woods again as Wolf Children... earth~connected, leaves in our hair, hearts full to overflowing... with gifts the river gave us... and ones we gave back... on this Black Friday Spirit Walk.

I have been listening carefully lately, and can hear all the songs again... and I'm pretty sure they can hear me too... not just composed songs, but the wild ones... the trees, the wind... and the subtle signs... hearing them like tracking in the forest... and the children are learning how to read them as well... in all their endless bounty of forms.

It was the day after Thanksgiving and the journey started when I got a message from a new friend, Danielle, who had just moved back to our town from Vermont. She told me I was meant to go to the River Bend Farm sanctuary, just a few towns over... to dance with the trees there... she said. She kept seeing me there and was compelled to tell me. It felt right. In honoring her integrity, I trusted her as conduit... Since I bring with me no mobile devices, I looked at the directions at home briefly to get a general sense of where this place loosely was. It was part of the Blackstone River Valley National Historic Park. "Perfect," I thought, "Black Stone River Valley offerings rather than Black Friday Consumption..."

The girls and I had been flirting with the idea of grabbing some comfort food out and then going for a walk somewhere anyway. Perhaps all the fasting that has unconsciously been happening to me this last month and the incredible lack of sleep I was experiencing, was reset with Thanksgiving's generous bounty. All I knew was that I was ravished.

Happy to dive into Danielle's vision... we grabbed some warm clothes and bundled up for whatever adventure awaited after lunch, along with some books we were excited to read, if given a chance. As we stepped outside our house into the brisk New England air, we felt called to stay a while in our garden out back, without rushing. The sky was an impossible blue, the sun shone so bright...
This far north these days, you have to catch all the sunshine you can in that short window. It felt so good and we lapped it up. The children played as I soaked it's brilliant rays on my welcoming face with eyes closed. The trees swayed as the gentle breeze picked up, as if greeting us, happy that we had come outside. They seem so joyful and alive lately, it's truly as if they are my kin. I have never known connection with nature like this before... I felt... peaceful, soft, tranquil... held.

I sat in an Adirondack chair and opened to any page, of a book I felt drawn to that day. It was part of Burton Watson's notes on his introduction of the Lotus Sutra... it spoke of offerings... how the intention of the devotional offerings made with "one's whole life," is what holds power and not the actual amount or receptacle itself. That in giving our gifts, exuding them joyfully and freely with intention~ we ourselves are fed, connected, continuously replete with benefit... be it heavenly music, chanting, prayer, incense, practice, service or fare...
in simply becoming our own sun, giving deeply, we receive deeply... and lack for nothing~

Soon I heard the children running to the car giggling, telling me it was "Time to go mama!" I was snapped out of my engrossed trance from the subject matter at hand. We got in the car and staying in a meditative state I just started driving the direction that felt good, loosely towards our destination, consulting with the children. I put my magic ipod nano on shuffle as we drove, and it played a perfect song for each moment. We had no idea where we were going for food, but were lazily led to a place called "Mom's Diner."

When we had entered, the place was packed. We just stood present and silent at the entryway, feeling everything as we do. Truth be told, lately I am overwhelmed with busy places with crowds of people... it's a lot of vibrations of inhibitions asking to be diffused into a more loving paradigm... We did, just standing there, listening and radiating... but it's work nonetheless, especially before coffee.

Just as I was starting to feel the energy soothe out, the waitress came over and led us through the kitchen to a small and quiet empty room with windows which faced a serene view, surrounding a parking lot. There was a moment where it didn't quite feel right to me that we should be alone back there, isolated... I even almost asked her if we could switch rooms... but I let go and surrendered. And as the girls settled in and our lunch was chosen, we started reading the books we brought, enjoying the quiet. Z soon spotted a game, laying on a nearby table. I looked up and smiled, recognizing it from my childhood. It was one of those triangle peg hop games, where you are a labeled a "genius" if you can some how end up with just one peg.

I taught Z how to play, which she figured out much faster than I ever could. As I rolled the loose wooden pegs in my fingers, I was teleported to my childhood neighbors, "Pat and Ray," from our 5 years of living in Missouri, near an air force base. They were farmers and their kindness was a saving grace to our family, who had immigrated there alone, from Italy. We found real solace in their friendship and I would spend long hours playing near their stream and watching Ray work in his wood-shop. He always seemed to have a ton of these things laying around which they would sell at craft fairs. Pat had made me my most cherished baby doll, a homemade knock off Cabbage Patch kid, that I still treasure. We never had a ton of extra money growing up, but all I ever really seemed to need was my bike, a book, and a stream. All the memories from those year came vividly flooding back as we sat in "Mom's Diner" playing, reading, and waiting for our fare.

Biscuits and gravy, and coffee for me, spaghetti and meatballs for Mo, and a burger for Z. Interesting choices for us and a departure from our usual healthier meals, but the three of us were already in wolf mode, running on instinct and hunger. After we were finished, we thanked the kind eyed waitress, who seemed to genuinely enjoy our exchanges. The children were disarmingly polite and sincere, as they are, and we left.

We got back in the car and meandered some more listening to the shuffle, letting the songs that love me so, have their way with me and sing the questions and answers of my very soul's longing~ We pulled into a State Park parking lot where I thought the place we were looking for might be. I left the car running and hopped out to look at the Big wooden-framed information board, and grabbed a park map. "Wolf Hill," I read and smiled... just below "Look Out Rock." Instantly I knew that River Bend was going to have to wait, but instead of stating this out loud, I asked the children what direction we should go. They mirrored my instincts and so we headed towards, "Wolf Hill all the way!" as they said it.

The smell of rich moss filled our nostrils prompting and awakening our senses as we stepped out of our vehicle... Massive rocks with lichen and tall majestic pines peppered the New England landscape. Mo was first to tell me she felt called towards a certain direction. She took the lead and it didn't take us long to make it up to the top. "Lookout Rock" was a GIANT cluster of ledges with a spectacular view of the rolling wooded hills below. Straight ahead of us the winter sun hung brilliant and low on the horizon. It felt sublime to let the sun flicker through the pines, kissing our faces a thousand times more as we stood in acceptance in the glimmering light. A few smaller pines with baby soft green tufts had sprung up between the cracks of the ledge, and were clinging in an astonishing way, with roots that seemed to penetrate the very ledge. I admired their tenacity, endurance and fortitude, but mostly their ability to remain soft as their tops swayed and sparkled in the glow and gentle breeze.

Z turned and stared in the distance towards a group of 3 or 4 teen boys dressed all in black. They were far from us and were clearly drinking in the woods below... She stood and squinted, studying them in that  detached way she has... I asked her what the vibe was. She took a few seconds and then said, "Harmless... but stay away."  Spot on. The children were tapped into perceiving with their subtle senses, and I was proud of their capacity.

I sat down near one of the soft, small  warrior pines, legs hanging off the ledge, dangling below. The children played and climbed nearby and I only said firmly to them, "Stay present and connected as you feel around." To remind them of how to really stay "safe." 

I settled into my own connection and felt my heart fill with a GIANT wave fluttering in, "kind of like love" as I stared off distantly, perceiving all the beauty.  I felt whole, and sent healing out to all those I love so... As soon as I did Massive shock~waves of love rippled through me... Sending out to EVERYTHING ~they radiated from my womb and beingness...

Mo suddenly called my attention. She pointed out lots of graffiti on one rock in particular, and some beer bottles and cans piled in a corner near a rock outcrop. She told me she felt called to take those home to recycle when we left. Of course we would, I told her.  
I thought about the renegades, the rebels, the ones on the brink... who come to the woods for refuge.  I listened and the thoughts emerging in my own mind came through crystal clear...

 "Nature heals the rebels... they are the ones who break free from the main stream... they are the sensitive ones, the dragons who can't and won't 'fit-in"... Whose stories call them to be birthed... which serve a great purpose... So they are drawn to seek solace, a place of their own to be free... as wildlings... allowing the 'wild rumpus' to guide them! In this way they break away to forge their own autonomy... becoming very suns as daughters... these rebels, these renegades. But yes, at times those whose autonomy hasn't been encouraged and fostered,  can act 'inappropriately' and they even... 'bite the hand that feeds them...' desecrating the very places that nourish them. They're shedding angst... from oppressive conformity norms. 
BUT they are the ones that break free... searching for that compass... eventually this leads them to their gifts which inevitably serve the world... it is how it has always been...and a rite of passage...

 So we are happy they are doing the work.  There are no mistakes, there is only learning..."

I am certain the trees were conduit in telling me this and I was humbled to tears of the Earth's compassion for us all... to be so forgiving.... so giving...

I told the children all that I had heard. They understood and nodded their heads in confirmation. Then Mo said that the trees told her they are very thankful for us being there, hearing them, loving them. We all at once felt called to chant. The children lead, opening with a gratitude invocation, and then DOVE confidently into "Gongyo"(1) reciting the elaborate "Hoben" and "Juryo" chapters 2+16  of the Lotus Sutra(2) which they have memorized almost to it's entirety. They spoke each sacred word with clarity and their prayers resonated so strong it made the very mountains shake. My little lions...
"Nam Myoho Renge Kyo" followed for about 10 strong minutes... This chant, it calls the Buddha nature to awaken in us all... to put it another way... It "resurrects the dead," so to speak.

"Mama we should focus on all people being able to hear the trees, and feel how healing nature can be," Mo stated with conviction. So we specifically chanted for this, for the communion that is possible. 


Minutes into that pure beautiful practice thousands of little flittering wings suddenly filled the sky! These little magical creatures had emerged out of nowhere. They truly looked like faeries dancing in the pines before us! Just twirling magically in the sunlight-streams... and we saw them all at once and smiled big looking to each other, laughing as we chanted, in wonder and amazement... and just like that! They were gone...

When it was time to go we saw where there had been a small campfire, now filled only with charcoal bits. We used the coals to make offerings of drawings, guided by the rocks and trees to tell us where... 
"And the rain will wash them into the Earth." Z said wisely, thinking surely of Andy Goldsworthy's work which we had just been studying, along with the elaborate Tibetan Sand Mandalas that take weeks of meditative practice to offer... and just like that, they are gone...  

I thought about what I had read that very morning about offerings, and it dawned on me that my entire life is and always has been a constant outpour of 'offering'... constant prayer... it's where I have always felt and feel the most myself... the most sense of home. It's so nice to stay in the light of that glow... in connection where it feels so warm and good... it's the only place I really ever want to be~ I share this my true love 

Before we left it was Z who felt called to go up the hill further to where thicker moss grew on an outcrop, just on the other side of the ledge. The little  trees there had grown into a heart-shaped seat, which Mo nestled right into, as if she had always been a part of it. 
Iceland... was what I instantly thought, and then Z voiced it... "Mama, this reminds me of Iceland. Can we go back one day?"  she asked. 
I paused smiling, thinking of how much rebirth we had all experienced there, and finally spoke, "All I know for certain is that everything we love about Iceland is here with us now... and we can stand right where we are  and feel that love with all the trees and places right here." I replied.

The wind suddenly picked up right then, as if the trees confirmed my message.  Again an inexplicable, tremendous LOVE was stirred up in me from afar... it sent me a blast out of nowhere. My heart swelled and I released it right back...  It moved through me like a shock wave, and I tremored in its deep pulse with the pounding of my heart...

We knew it was time... we picked up the litter and started making our way back. Momo suddenly handed me a small stick shaped like a walking cane and said, "This is meant for you." I was astonished and held onto it and knowing exactly what it was... thinking of a little silver fish that came to find me just a week before... they were treasures of the heart pointing me homeward... 

She had also picked up a full size walking stick covered in lichen that she was walking with, but when we went to leave "Wolf Hill," instead of telling her to leave it, I asked her if she was meant to take it. She paused and waited a long time as she felt into it, finally responding that she was meant to leave it and leaned it against an old growth tree. My little walking cane, I knew was meant to stay with me at least a bit longer...



We made our way to River Bend Farm Sanctuary...  It was magical. It was almost sunset and the sky was starting to show itself in swirls of red in the sweeping clouds. There was a lake next to a large barn, and a bridge between the lake and the river that led to many paths.  Right away Mo found a bright pink "kindness rock" with the words, "Have Fun" written on it. We were to take it and walk with it for a while, then leave it somewhere else for another to find. They seem to be everywhere in our town, and have become a source of endless merriment and amusement for many! No one is really sure who started this, but it always feels like the same kind of joy as finding an Easter Egg on Sunday morning! :)

We all felt pulled to go run over the bridge and into a wild sunlit meadow, but the sun was quickly setting and soon it would be getting cold and dark so I thought to play it safe and go down a well worn path that simply looped around the barn... But something has shifted in me... and well, we didn't make it more than 10 steps before I stopped, dead in my tracks, and HAD to turn back, to follow the joy of the light instead~ It just kept patiently sending me lovely little nudges...  finally I could hear them!!  And I happily obliged... A few steps into the meadow Momo found the perfect spot for the kindness rock. "Have Fun." It sat there smiling. 

As soon as she released it something strange happened and we started RUNNING and laughing hard! Giggling I shouted, "LET'S CHASE THE LAST OF THE SUNLIGHT!!!!" We ran from the shade FULL SPEED! 

Laughing and laughing and running and howling, hearts pounding and free! The wind felt bitter cold on our faces as we ran, but eventually we hit the sun drenched field. What a contrast as it permeated our beingness with heavenly nectar...

The strangest looking birch trees were clustered at the edge of the sunny meadow...  We collapsed on the ground next to them, rolling in the sunlit grass and leaves... the birches were ghostly and one of them was a 10 sisters tree... meaning that 10 distinct thick trunks grew from the center point. It left a perfect circle of rich Earth in the middle. I knew it was there that I was meant to leave my miniature walking stick. 

(Listen as you read this next part... )

We were deep in joyful connection with our offerings and merriment when I heard a very invasive sound that broke the vibration like a ton of bricks being hurled clumsy through a forest...  "GET OVER HERE!" A man shouted at his dogs abusively. I didn't look up to see what it was, instead I just turned to the children and said, "What do you feel?"  They closed their eyes and said "Unsafe, stay away. Bad." Z said it first. I knew right away too...  I wasn't surprised as we looked up to see 3 boastful hunters with rifles and a terrified looking dog scurrying about every which direction... 

We stood silent, looking down in an intense way not breaking our connection to our wholeness, to "god" one might call it... as they walked towards us. We were withdrawing our energy from them, disengaging with their narrative as they looked at us seeking to engage. I could even feel them wanting to make a joke... some diminishing comment to us about being in the trees. One gets very good at knowing what each situation needs... and for some, it's not always love~ I am learning... In a way, they were seeking compliance, acknowledgement, and agreement with their desecration ways. We gave them NO SUCH AGREEMENT in complicity of these ways!! Their ways were the ways of abusers and entitled pigs- (no offense to pigs.) 

This might all sound harsh, I know. Not all hunters are abusers. The "how" is what matters, and when we learn to perceive using our subtle senses in energy, we become savvy in feeling the EXTREME Heaviness of the invasive, desecrating, and depleting "takers" energies...  I felt this imbalance and have even experienced it within myself. The thinly veiled monsters they chose to be, as entitled diminishers. The children have gotten very good at identifying this type of energy a mile away too, and we have chosen to do our best to guard the sanctity of all life...  with all of our lives, in all moments. We refused to placate such gross paradigms of dissension. They wanted a smile and a nod from us, and to throw at us an off-handed comment. We WITHDREW any such interaction, suspending it in the trees, while we meshed fiercely in energy with the protective forces, even in plain sight.

In CONSCIOUSLY and FIERCELY withdrawing and staying present, we created a subtle but palpable TENSION... that seeks completion... They weren't able to attain compliance from us, of their ways... nor to diminish us into a box as they wanted to, thus their ugly narrative bounced off of us and it forced self-reflection. In this way a type of curiosity of us was created... "well if they aren't THAT, than what are they?" they were forced to begin to see... and we became more than just a glitch in the matrix of their agenda-story-narrative... showing them that something different and much more whole is possible... the connection they really craved... Sow a seed was thus planted, however small or big. 

THAT is how we do it.

All hunters really seek, is connection... to nature... to feel fed... therefore REVERENCE.  But often they act inappropriately... shitty hunters... because they have no idea of how to shed being a "taker" to accomplish such true connection. This is not a judgement passed, BUT a deep and brave compassion to them... when this healing work is performed through correcting... In terms of yoga, this is like noticing someone's bad habit in a pose and facilitating a "correction" by showing them the more whole way to come into true alignment where the energy can flow in ALL directions, giving them back all the abundance, companionship, wholeness, love, merriment, JOY, success, Health, Connection! and LOVE that was robbed of them for too long from the imbalance of the lies they made part of their identity... this is the conditioning of fear, conquering, and taking that must be dispelled shed, by presenting a more whole truth.

We did all of this, in subtle energy as we have learned to... and I was proud of my wolf-children trusting to follow their mama's instinct as the hunters waked by. But simultaneous to my guidance, the children read the signs themselves and knew just what to do, reacting perfectly following their own instincts. Once the hunters were gone I released 3 sharp sounds, cutting all chords  with their invasive energies... followed by blowing the energy out in a soothing way 3 times~  until the energy felt clear of all the tension invoked.  It felt safe again for my children... and the soft glow of the tranquil light returned... transforming the very environment back to the paradise... OF LOVE.

The 10 sisters tree filled me with images of Native Americans,  showing me a glimpse of how TRUE hunting is done with REVERENCE AND respect. I saw it all... with spear, and bow and arrow, stealthily as they tracked in the way of veneration and deep connection. True union. 

"Only in true reverence, there is true agreement"... she whispered to me... "like the union between a man and a woman... those  being preyed on would even offer themselves completely, willingly in such energetic veneration... to be devoured as offering, in reverence of mother."


hmmm... I mused, "Those being hunted were sincerely "prAyed" upon, so they were okay being "prEyed" upon... in such trust..."

"Hunt like a wolf, run like a river 

Put your hand on the chest 

Of a heart that is beating 

You lie in debt to a lover beholden 

Trained on the thought of a singular union...  

Out of the womb, into the ether 

Feel the rain on your head 

And the tundra beneath ya 

A sudden blow and nobody 

With a body can reach ya..."  The Barr Brothers; Wolves

There was such immersion with the ebbs and flows of this sacred Earth, that death, devouring, and even love making was a painless affair... It was clear to me that all actions in life can be done in desecration or in wholeness. In this reverence... we can hear the songs... of all things... guiding us... showing themselves in this  perfect trust and love.... And this single factor is what makes the difference in the causal chain of what we manifest in this world... It is the energy of true integrity that matters most. What we say or do should follow...  "Keep your energy genuine and bright," I heard her say...

I heard myself say, "...and the stream is never the same twice... true learning and benefit is found only in staying in connection, each moment"~ These words I had JUST uttered to my class that morning... 

Right then Mo said she saw many buffalo... and said that "Spirit would tell the people how many to hunt and when and where... they would be guided... like we were being guided in "Spirit walk" today" ~in such perfect trust and love.

With that... I placed that little beautiful cane and a quarter inside the earth of the 10 sister's tree... nestled safely with her always as both offering and prayer. Reverently, I said one final thank you in a deep bow as I prayed for healing. My hands were in prostration of prayer both in pointing fingers up towards the heavens as is commonly done, but also pointing them down to pour needed love INTO the Earth, as I have been taught~

We walked down the edge of the field around some TALL grasses and paths that made a zig-zag maze until we reached a log bench. We sat for a second and Mo felt called to walk through what felt like a tunnel of tall bushes... we walked tentatively down the narrow path together feeling unsure, as if something was lurking around the corner... an energy... and I laughed though seeing another log bench... I smiled at Z, thinking, "Bread crumbs" and she looked at me and said, "Hansel and Grettle!" I hadn't uttered the words "bread crumbs" aloud, and was wide-eyed in wonder at the psychic connection between us.  
When we made it out to the clearing I pointed out a place on the path with some dense energy. I looked down and there were some long quail feathers and many shorter feathers scattered around frantically... a quail had suffered some fate here...  we still felt it.  I got lightheaded in the same way I did  with a dead mole I had found in my driveway. I had lay him down to rest in a cradle of leaves under a willing tree.
"Nam Myoho Renge Kyo" 3 x~  We chanted reverently. I sent up the Quail's energy, picturing it STRONGLY awakening as Bodhisattva! where ever it may go...  I got even more lightheaded as I felt the prayers take effect. When it was done, I grounded by touching the Earth. This was all followed by instinct.



We walked a few more steps and again a little stick shaped like a cane came into view, asking me quite clearly to pick it up... I smiled AMAZED. This tickled me. 
I was bemused. Hadn't I JUST set you free? LOVE COURSED through me. I couldn't believe HOW STRONG. I felt it in my heart, I felt it in my womb... my heart pounded in psychic connection.

We walked towards the lake wanting to enjoy our last moments in the solace of it. For now the perfect crescent moon glowed in the flickering reflection of that silent, magical pool in that soft early evening light. But on the  bridge there was a family taking Christmas card photos of their 3 grown children. The 2 boys were teen-aged, and the girl was in her 20's. The youngest boy was miserable and the mom kept telling him they were almost done taking posed pictures. They looked stuffy and very antsy in their polished Christmas attire. 

At this point, the girls and I were in full-on wildling mode, holy immersed... and had been rolling around the grass, had leaves in our hair, charcoal all over our fingers and some on our faces... to the uninitiated, we surely looked like half-crazy raga-muffins. But I didn't feel judgement from them though. The mom in truth, seemed to be too consumed in taking the perfect picture, to really notice us at all... as she was quickly losing light. It was in fact only awareness of my own conditioned self-conscious fear talk... as we were about to cross the bridge... back to the other side...

We stayed in reverent connection with all things in integrity to nature, and even smiled confidently at them, sending them genuine love as we crossed... Staying just as we were. With my fears in check, We walked on shameless and undeterred. 

We got to the lake and I found the perfect place to sit down near it, past a few pricker vines, between two trees.  I knew this was where I was meant to leave the second cane. I was still between worlds on the land part of the bridge... The girls rounded the lake and sat with legs dangling off the edge of the dock on the other side from me. They were so beautiful. I smiled feeling such love, pride, and reverence for them. They were so submersed in the landscape, so present, so comfortable and connected. With the crescent moon suspended above them like a beautiful hanging mobile along with the first emerging stars, I beamed and beamed, in love with this perfect view...

I turned to face out into the lake again, and again I felt the energy of this inexplicable one  from far away sending a lightening bolt of love and resurrection through my own heart and even pulsing in my womb. It was so POWERFUL. I have never felt such love and connection... I knew in that instant that we were somehow conduits as Mother and Father for something much BIGGER than ourselves. Together we were BIRTHING Billions by the causality of this massive LOVE created in reverence between us... More than that I did not know...  It was so pure... It was nothing we sought... in truth it was as if something chose us... and yet we also somehow chose everyday of our lives in simply offering to spirit... And this love was awakening a power within me... these giant SHIFTS  from that magnetism SO BIG which was seeking union...  it was charging  the very cosmos...  and again my heart swelled SO BIG this time that that a shock wave permeated my whole body... And was too big! It OVERFLOWED... resulting in the wind gusting up spiraling thousands of leaves of a thousand trees around the lake... Spiraling, Spiraling... like a mighty portal being opened... sending them up, and up, and out in time and space to be written...  by all who could hear this love... I have never seen anything more beautiful! It was like a thousand dancing birds~

Right In that moment a ball of red twine presented itself at my feet under the reflection of the crescent moon, by the shore... I shook my head in amazement... it too spoke of one... it came and found me. It was a gift which I would make a paper heart valentine with, to hang around me like a gallery wall.  "Thank you." I uttered in deep reverence.  I wrapped it around my right arm, and then paused for a long time. I felt myself wanting to hang on to that incredible feeling...  but instead I picked up the little cane I was holding and offered it. I flung it right into the reflection of the moon, and  I swear it nearly boomeranged back. I whispered, "Thank you for letting me serve... heal him mama... make him whole..." along with a fleck of birch that told me to make a wish just for me on it... 
Held... those loving arms... heaven... close to that heart beat exuding love... I thought... "Snuggles" I smiled... "I'm in it for the snuggles..." I laughed big and then let that go too~

I walked around to where my little wolf-children were sitting so submersive and beautiful and before we returned home I put my hand on a giant mama spruce tree in front of the car, telling them goodbye and thank you for such a holy day as this. They were so happy for the clear acknowledgement and love. 

Suddenly I noticed the squirming teen-age boy from before was standing in front of me. He locked eyes with me. I stayed JUST as I was, without feeling foolish for clearly connecting with a tree. He didn't judge, and I felt no shame. I STAYED without breaking my gaze with him. It was a beautiful moment. In staying, it allowed that beautiful paradigm to be asked to be met with agreement... It was asked with seriousness... with the volition of our heart's calling. We both acknowledged and happily came into it's agreement, accepting what we were both seeing, to be real... that beautiful expansive paradigm, no longer a far off future... but as today's reality in that moment. I was not a phantom anomaly, I wasn't a glitch in the matrix to be written off... he SAW me, he saw the connection possible with nature, in love, and he abided in it, gazing into it for a long time, with reverence... I saw it all in his eyes and felt it's sincerity.

I understood something VASTLY important. In NOT HIDING THE TRUTH of connection that is possible, we manifest this paradigm as reality for all, in all moments!
There are no co-incidents... nothing is happening in a vacuum... we are all magnetically pulled in a harmony according to the trajectories of the paths we are planting and being planted in... so Anyone who crosses our path, when we are in such deep CONSCIOUS connection and alignment is either STARVING for that truth we have to offer, or is already in agreement with that truth; and vice versa. So there is no need to ever feel ashamed or foolish!We all are serving each other always, in all ways...  It was said that "Worthies and Sages are tested by abuse" - but this is no longer so. We no longer have to take abuse as martyrs or dish it out. We are together more keenly aware of all the subtle ways of diminishment... so we can fiercely uphold and protect the SANCTITY and INTEGRITY of all LIFE by either withdrawing our agreements to abuse, or asking others to join in the agreements of love... by presenting them with this more whole paradigm... 

The KEY to how we transform the paradigm of "takers" is in staying rooted and anchored in this whole~HOLY connection where we are fed, via making continuous offerings,  honoring spirit in all WAYS, keying in to what each moment asks us to both receive and deliver as medicine... no matter WHO shows up in our trajectory door~ In this Holy communion with all life we open the portal door to One of deep respect for all beings.
LOVE. JOY. True COMPANIONSHIP. ABUNDANCE. Success. Victory for all. LOVE. Health... all come flooding through this spiral gate. THIS is the KEY to HEALING!
I felt... infinity in that moment in revelation. There was no time, as the boy and I locked eyes in that agreement of love's connection...  I stood in so much child-like wonder at it all...



When we got home we made a fire and read another chapter in "The Odyssey" as well as the rest of "Huckleberry Finn." I  laughed at one point, and I was again reminded of the Mighty MiSchief Makers of the world,  Renegades, Wildlings on the brink who break the laws and rules of conformity, the Mary Magdalenes who forge their own way... the Jesus Christs, the Rebels and Thought Criminals alike... who Open the way... to so may more... into the moment where Autonomy is born... and who thRough trial and error Hear their own joyful path's Calling... forging and fulfilling their Mission... through effort and releAse... action and inaction... in reverence... in connecTion... following  their own Mighty Mary MEant SpiritWalk... 

Thank you for reading.... To many more glorious unions~ 

i love you...

* Susan Seddon-Boulet's beautiful paintings 
from Turning Point gallery

*Wisdom of the Trees; by Jen Ward click)~ give as a gift to someone